A Big Financial Myth
How to stop wasting time and money on the impossible – and start building a more meaningful life
My favorite episode of the classic sci-fi series, “The Twilight Zone,” features a man who finally has all the time in the world to read after a nuclear war. But when he breaks his glasses, he is left alone in the ruins of a library, unable to read a single book. Clutching his broken glasses and dreams, the man cries out in disbelief: “That’s not fair… There was time now, there was all the time I needed.”
The man’s brokenhearted cry echoes through my mind whenever I read or hear what I believe is a big financial myth: Money gives you control over time.
In bestselling books and on popular blogs, “control over time” is often framed as the ultimate purpose of building wealth. If you were rich, the thinking goes, you would have all the time you need – to do what you want, when you want, however long you want.
Sure, money lets you avoid spending time doing things you don’t want to do – working a job you hate, mowing the lawn, changing diapers. But as much as we want to believe otherwise, we puny mortals – both the ungodly rich and dirt poor – cannot control time. Elon Musk doesn’t have a time machine (at least not yet), and every million Jeff Bezos earns in an hour cannot prolong his lifespan a single second.
I despise the idea because it frames life as indentured servitude as if the gift of time on Earth is worthless unless we’re free to do whatever we want. When we know that many things that happen to us – a second chance, a bended knee, the words “I have something to tell you” – are every bit as valuable as those we create for ourselves.
Time is not made nor saved; it marches on no matter what.
Why is this distinction so important?
Chasing unattainable goals leads to squandering time and money on unfulfilling pursuits. Instead of mastering time, you find yourself in a cycle of always wanting more, trying to reach that elusive goal. Life then shifts from a meaningful journey to an endless loop of relentless chasing.
I achieved financial independence – and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
In a blog post, “Why Aren’t Rich People Happier?,” Ben Carlson observes:
“[E]ven if you become successful beyond your wildest dreams we humans have a tendency to constantly move the goalposts.”
He highlights happiness researcher Michael Norton, who studied 2,000 millionaires to gauge their happiness on a 1 to 10 scale. Despite their wealth, most believed they’d need two to three times more money to score a perfect 10 in happiness. But as Carlson remarks, “We all know once they hit that higher level it would only increase the line in the sand to reach peak happiness.”
Imagine sacrificing and working hard to live better than 99% of the world, only to feel a need for more to be happy.
Those millionaires in the study likely buy into the myth that more wealth would grant them more time. Studies indicate that higher earners often feel short on time, a sensation amplified with increasing wealth. Even perceiving oneself as richer can make one feel more pressed for time.
Why does more money often feel like less time? Some researchers suggest the wealthy just have so many ways to spend their money but limited free hours to do it.
As we acquire more, our expenditure grows, making us yearn for even more of both. It’s akin to expanding a highway to ease congestion, only to see it grow busier. The presumption is that more money will give us greater control and happiness, yet the cycle never ends.
So, we get caught up in the myth that one day everything will fall into place, a day author Oliver Burkeman says “will never arrive.” In his fascinating book on the perils of time management, Four Thousand Weeks (an ode to the average lifespan), Burkeman provides this sobering truth:
“Denying reality never works, though. It may provide some immediate relief, because it allows you to go on thinking that at some point in the future you might, at last, feel totally in control. But it can’t ever bring the sense that you’re doing enough — that you are enough — because it defines “enough” as a kind of limitless control that no human can attain. Instead, the endless struggle leads to more anxiety and a less fulfilling life.”
If this isn't the roadmap to fulfillment, then what is? How can we sidestep this trap and chart a more meaningful financial journey?
Living on “kairos” time
The first step toward a more fulfilling life, Burkeman suggests, is acceptance. He writes:
“The more you try to manage your time with the goal of achieving a feeling of total control, and freedom from the inevitable constraints of being human, the more stressful, empty, and frustrating life gets. But the more you confront the facts of finitude instead — and work with them, rather than against them — the more productive, meaningful, and joyful life becomes.”
In essence, Burkeman advises a shift in perspective.
The ancient Greeks had two distinct concepts for time. Most of us understand time solely as a linear progression, a sequence of events, where every moment is quantifiable and oriented toward completing tasks. This linear perception of time is what the Greeks dubbed “chronos.”
But, the Greeks also spoke of another dimension of time: “kairos.” This concept is less about counting moments and more about immersing in their essence. Kairos speaks to the quality of time, focusing on seizing meaningful opportunities that present themselves.
What many of us truly seek isn’t merely more time or dominion over it. It’s a quest for deeper meaning and significance. In other words, more kairos time. Living in alignment with kairos demands clarity in our desires. It’s not just about wanting more time but also discerning how best to use it.
When contemplating the sufficiency of money or time, the devil is in the details. Generalizations about managing time and money remain nebulous without a tangible sense of purpose to guide us.
Therefore, the next step is to define what gives your life purpose. Jot it all down. Write not just what you want, but dive deep into what is most meaningful to you – the true purpose of money in your life.
What we are after is a state that looks like the culmination of a life. So, take some time and ask yourself:
What parts of your life seem to be the culminating parts, the days or hours or minutes where you are living life most fully?
When do you stop counting the time and become entirely present to what you are doing?
What sorts of activities are you engaged in when this takes place?
Your answers will be inherently unique to you. This underscores the idea that our perceptions of time and money are deeply subjective and intertwined with our personal beliefs and values.
It’s why personal finance is personal.
Now, when I hear that phrase, I’m reminded of a true story, an anecdote from the book, Better Dads, Stronger Sons, by Rick Johnson:
Charles Francis Adams, son of President John Quincy Adams and grandson of President John Adams, kept a diary. One day he entered: “Went fishing with my son today—a day wasted.”
His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: “Went fishing with my father—the most wonderful day of my life!” The father thought he was wasting time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time.
Who do you want to live like? Like father or like son?
There is time now.